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posted by [personal profile] wpadmirer at 07:36am on 14/07/2017
"Your current success is determined by your level of discipline and perseverance."

All I gotta say is why is never anything easy for me?

Yes, that's today's horoscope. And I'm really tired of being the one who always has to work harder.

Yeah, I'm a little cranky. I was up at 5:45.

But at the office, the list of things I'm responsible for gets longer every day. I think I'm mentally exhausted by that. I'm asked to "ensure" others get their job done, and I don't have time to do my job - much less monitor other people doing theirs.

I got the change-over to the new accounting program done, and that just made the other things I'm responsible for pile up. So I'm behind, as always. (sigh)

Plus there's my writing, which I can't seem to get done. I think part of it is that I'm a little depressed. Writing is what I want, but my energy is being depleted by work. I deliberately took a job that was only four days a week so that I would have time to decompress and write, but it's not happening.

Part of that is that I have been involved in helping other people - the obligations that I find myself caught up in - and part of it is the struggle to find balance between work, doing things that feed my heart (climbing, reading, working with my plants, writing).

Everything has been out of balance for over two years now. (sigh)

I will get it back. I just wish that everything in my life didn't have to be such a fucking struggle.
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